Never trust a manual

Manuals are tricksters 

Manuals are tricky things. The pictures and text make everything seem so simple; whatever these instructions are describing- building a bookshelf or assembling a ceiling fan-they convince you that the process will be seamless and a total breeze.

It doesn't take long to realize the manuals are misleading. I discovered this fact while trying to fix my car keys. The key fob that can unlock or lock my car with a press of a button wasn't working. At first, I had to punch the unlock/lock button a few times to get the doors' locks to move. Then the time spent on punching the button lengthened until finally the fob didn't work at all.

So, for the first time in recent memory, I opened up my glove box and pulled out the car's manual to find out what could be the problem. I read that the issue was most likely that the battery was dead so I ordered a new one. When the battery arrived in the mail, looking similar to a newly minted dime, I again pulled out the manual to find out how I replace the battery. The manual instructed me to extend the key and use a screw driver to press on a tab. This would dissect the key fob in half. Using the screw driver again, I was told to gently pry apart one of the halves where the battery is located, remove the battery and install the new one.

Simple, right?

Using one of the smallest screw drivers I own, I pressed down on the tab. Nothing. The screw driver slid along the fob's side-still nothing. The tool rammed and almost impaled the fob but it remained in tact. At this point, I gave up on the manual. It let me down so the booklet was returned to its hiding place in the glove compartment. I continued to use the screw driver to ram, stab and saw at my key fob. Then, during its torture treatment, the key fob suddenly started working. My thumbs  would accidentally press down on the buttons and I could hear the door locks clicking, then clicking again, and then again. It didn't matter to me that the fob was miraculously fixed. I bought those batteries so I was going to successfully dissect the key fob, replace the battery and snap the fob back into one piece.

To tell truth, I don't have a clue about how I got the fob into pieces. But there it was-properly cut in half and then cut in half again. The old battery sprung out of its casing as if it was some spare change being flipped in the air. I installed the new battery and snapped the pieces back together.

I felt a smug satisfaction as if I had out-witted the car manual. Of course this wasn't the case at all. Manuals are just tricky things; you got be ready for the bumps and setbacks that occur when the written word is put into practice in the real world.