Happy Birthday To Me!

Still crazy after all these years.

 Tomorrow is a my birthday. As I told my boss, it is the big 4-4. It got me thinking about when I was a kid and I would try and imagine what I would be like as an adult. It seemed like adult Kirsten would be some sort of alien from another planet; I couldn't grasp a version of myself as old. Well, being old has reared its grey-haired, wrinkled face head at me. It isn't as strange or foreign as I once thought. As my boss said, you feel pretty much like you always did. 

It is kind of funny when I think back on what I would daydream about my future life as an adult. It wasn't about having kids or being married; it was always about the interior of my home. What would it look it? How would I decorate it? I would mentally design the bathroom, the living room, the bedroom. Sometimes it was an apartment and sometimes it was a full-blown mansion. Whatever the home, I always fantasized that I earned it by being exceptional at something. That was what was really important; I loved thinking I was greatest at - whatever - like the world had never seen before. 

Sadly, with age I realized I am not the greatest at anything. Then again, I don't think anyone is. The real goal is just to be happy. And for the most part, I am. For one, I did get a home of my own to decorate. So, lifelong dream achieved! Plus, I get to write for living, which was always my favorite thing to do. There are no complaints in the career department. Do I sometimes wish for more? Sure. Then again age has shown me that everyone wishes for more. The thing is, I realized, is to be at least happy with what you have. And I am. As long as I have my dog, my Friday night cosmo, my work and my family near by, I am happy. So here's to turning 44. And for it not being as scary or strange as 5-year-old Kirsten thought.