Sitting in the editor's chair

 The first time I sat in an editor's chair was in college. I was both giddy and petrified to be seated at that chipped, worn-out, wooden desk with the antique-looking Macintosh. It was exciting to have a seat of some relative power in the newsroom but terrifying because I had no idea how to paginate a news page.

Leading, kerning, evenly aligned columns-what was all that? How do you determine what is good newspaper design? Everything on Pagemaker, the design program we used, seemed alien to me.

It didn't help matters that the newsroom seemed to be a boys' club where profane, crude humor was traded between editors' desk over the sound of heavy metal music the campus' radio station played at night. The humor made me feel I didn't belong; the music just irritated me. 

My first attempt at pagination, needless to say, was a disaster. It did get better; everything from Pagemaker to the the bawdy, raunchy conversations became less foreign and threatening. Still, the position wasn't something I could fully throw my arms around and embrace.  

I took a hiatus from working as an editor until I arrived at the Los Alamos Monitor. This time the editor's chair was at a blue/grey-colored cubicle with a slightly more updated Mac. My first day on the job all the old anxieties and fears came flooding back. Once again, my first news page was not pretty. Only this time, I fully embraced the position. I wrapped my arms around the editor position and squeezed it until it gasped for air. This role wasn't going to escape me; I would understand it and conquer it and be crowned the victor. 

Victory felt inevitable. Then I left the newsroom.
I really never thought newspaper pagination and I would cross paths again. Indesign, the program that replaced Pagemaker,  retreated further and further back into my memory. I forgot all the shortcuts and design tricks. Or so I thought.
A very good friend of mine gave me a place in her newspaper. I started writing and now I have taken on pagination of her Espanola newspaper, the Valley Daily Post. In keeping with tradition, my first attempt at laying out the Valley Daily Post was not very pretty but it's improving. Newspaper layout, I discovered, is like riding a bike. You never quite forget how to do it.
I discovered something else as I become more involved with the Post. I've uncovered another reason why I love journalism; it never gives up on me. No matter how many shouting matches, tears, frustrations, disappointments I experienced in this career, it never drops me or kicks me out for good. Journalism always keeps the door open to the newsroom for me. This time the editor's chair is by a glass-topped conference table and from this seat I once again embrace this crazy, wonderful profession.